?

Log in

jane fonda lives here. [entries|friends|calendar]
the great embrini.

[ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ]
[ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

(say what you will)

[13 Mar 2006|10:44pm]
FRIENDS ONLY.

(say what you will)

gah! [19 Apr 2004|10:17am]
[ mood | devious ]

Packing sucks!

Where did I get all this junk?

(say what you will)

crazy in the coconut. [17 Apr 2004|05:01pm]
[ mood | neither here nor there. ]

I'M DONE FIRST YEAR UNIVERSITY!

I wanted to have a celebratory meal at the caf, but nothing tasty was available. So I had a sandwich. However, the girl put so much damn mayonnaise on it that I couldn't stop thinking about semen as I ate it.

And I have $27.50 in my pocket! That seems like good news, but since it's what I got for selling my books back, it is the saddest $27.50 that has ever existed.

(2 statements | say what you will)

msn. [16 Apr 2004|04:03pm]
Would rather be at the beach! says:
   Britt.

tuesday's coming. did you bring your coat? says:
   Mother.

Would rather be at the beach! says:
   What was the other title all about?

tuesday's coming. did you bring your coat? says:
   My friend Michael and I were having an MSN name fight last night.

Would rather be at the beach! says:
   And what is happening on Tuesday?

tuesday's coming. did you bring your coat? says:
   It's a line from a cartoon. One stick figure goes: "Tuesday's coming, did you bring your coat?" and the other one goes: "I live in a giant bucket" and then they grow tumours that turn into little people.

Would rather be at the beach! says:
   That's too much for me.


***************


Would rather be at the beach! says:
   Ok. About Slipper. I can't believe I have done this. I have hired the dog walker to live in while we are away and completely forgot you will be here!

tuesday's coming. did you bring your coat? says:
   LIVE IN???

Would rather be at the beach! says:
   Yes!!!

tuesday's coming. did you bring your coat? says:
   What am I supposed to do??

Would rather be at the beach! says:
   Go away!

tuesday's coming. did you bring your coat? says:
   [hilarious blank-faced emoticon insertion]



Damn. I should be studying. OH SHIT MY LAUNDRY!

(1 statement | say what you will)

[14 Apr 2004|07:41pm]
1. Grab the nearest book.
2. Open the book to page 23.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the sentence in your journal along with these instructions.

"Had we discussed my strengths and my weaknesses, had we all agreed upon which we would avoid and which to face head-on, there would be an understanding sense of solidarity among my producers and me rather than an ever-renewing sense of stupidity and insensitivity all around."

(2 statements | say what you will)

That's a lot of pussy. [13 Apr 2004|10:41am]
[ mood | accomplished ]

My women's studies exam went swimmingly.

And now I shall play four hours of Snood and Pac-Man to reward myself on a job well done. And then I shall check my mail.


For good measure:



A HUGE KITTY!

(say what you will)

Oh god please no... [12 Apr 2004|08:57pm]
[ mood | scared ]

Dear lips,

I beg of you: BE STRONG! Do not put me through a repeat of last year's gruelling housebound thirteen days. I live in a dormitory, are you not aware? If I come out of my room with infected lips that are even HALF as bad as last year people will faint, or turn to stone or wood, or something of that nature.

I do not know what I do to deserve this. I treat you well! I balm you regularly, don't I? I found you quite a nice set of lips to have relations with! If this is about the picking, well I'm sorry. What do you want me to do? It's a habit that is hard to kick, but if you promise not to become infected again I swear IT'S OVER BETWEEN ME AND THE PICKING! SHE MEANS NOTHING TO ME!

Please give these words some thought, and I will be keeping an eye on you to see if they've had any effect.


Sincerely,
The rest of me.

(say what you will)

[11 Apr 2004|05:49pm]
[ mood | chipper ]

Today was really tiring.

I feel a bit strange because we've just moved to Idaho and there's a weird smell in the house.

Last night I had to masturbate twenty times. I'm so horny. Click here to see my website.

Today, I got a digital camera! Yes! Here's some photos of my cock.

Created with the Gregor's Semi-Automatic LiveJournal Updater™. Update your journal today!

(say what you will)

nothing is more romantic than a dead woman! [09 Apr 2004|06:40pm]
[ mood | headachy ]

So I'm done everything except exams. In 12 days I will be home.

HOLY CRAP! I just looked out the window and I saw this really small midget and then I realized it was a crow! See how eventful my days are? I'm so much fun I can't take myself anymore.


And now I'm shutting down my computer. I've had enough!

(3 statements | say what you will)

...but the biggest kick I ever got was doing a thing called the crocodile rock. [07 Apr 2004|07:24pm]
[ mood | annoyed ]

I just did a search on the UBC library website for Robin Morgan's book "Sisterhood is Powerful". However, a bunch of other books that began with "sisterhood" appeared.

My favourite: "The Sisterhood of the Travelling Pants" - now there's a book I want to read.

And my neighbour is listening to "Crocodile Rock" over and over again. Sometimes she starts singing it really passionately. It's "Crocodile Rock" for god's sake!

Please, someone save me from her looping, she'll be listening to it ALL night!

(say what you will)

son of a bitch! [07 Apr 2004|12:10pm]
[ mood | contemplative ]

It's quite likely that I just failed my technical theatre exam. However, I completely deserved it. If you don't start studying until 11.30 the night before - what can you really expect?

Damn, I wish I didn't have a 10 page women's studies paper due tomorrow that I haven't started.

(1 statement | say what you will)

britt is asking why. [05 Apr 2004|11:01pm]
[ mood | disgusted ]

I was doing a survey about what disgusts people (because I just have six dozen important things to do... but pointless surveys take priority) and after several pictures of bugs and shit-stained towels this pops up:



Poor guy!

Of course, I chose Very Disgusted.

(say what you will)

heroes in a half shell [04 Apr 2004|10:01pm]
[ mood | full of pistachios! ]

While doing some serious research for our Women's Studies presentation on children's programming, I stumbled upon this inexplicable website:

Click here.

I just don't know why it exists.

(1 statement | say what you will)

perdue? [02 Apr 2004|06:25pm]
[ mood | mystified ]

So I have lost my debit card.

I do not know how this happened, as I am always so conscientious about these kinds of things.

It's weird - I've been losing quite a few things lately, such as my scissors and my glue. I don't know what happens to these items. This room is so small... where could they be hiding?

But regarding the debit card: I must have left it in an ATM machine (which I've NEVER done before). I will have to go to the Bank of Montreal tomorrow and sort this out.

And everybody dressed in formal attire is making me sad.

BUT FUCK IT! I'll just sit here and consume my strawberry yogurt mixed with cool whip.

(2 statements | say what you will)

She said she "dug my Flava name" and I was encouraged to "cruise around da block." [02 Apr 2004|12:04am]
[ mood | anxious ]

Tomorrow is the last Friday of class.

Check this out.

Fini: I just got a craving for an empty stomach!

(4 statements | say what you will)

what a day. [01 Apr 2004|12:20am]
[ mood | cheerful ]

A sincerely excellent 19th birthday!

Thank you for the AMAZING decorations and gifts, Emily! Nothing makes a birthday like a visually stimulating drawing of a penis complete with the veins and tiny hairs. The fact that "Happy Birthday" was written inside the ejaculation tickled me pink!

I talked to many people today... AND I HEARD SO MUCH GOSSIP. That was the best gift of all! Well... until I receive Michael's gift tomorrow. But I don't know... I hold gossip in such high esteem!

(2 statements | say what you will)

19 [31 Mar 2004|12:01am]
[ mood | nineteen-dom. yes it's a mood! ]

Well. It seems I have turned the big 19.

No, it doesn't feel any different.


The only difference: I can't continue making those "Just 18!" porn flicks I was so famous for. It wouldn't be honest.

(say what you will)

barren weekend. [28 Mar 2004|11:38pm]
[ mood | should have done work. ]

Today I saw a little white dog in the backpack of a skateboarder.

(2 statements | say what you will)

undermutter mutterances [26 Mar 2004|02:10pm]
[ mood | meh ]

Ahhh the weekend... OF DOOM! Actually that is next weekend. This is the weekend of pre-DOOM, so that I can thoroughly fuck myself over for the true weekend of DOOM and then curse myself for creating a weekend of DOOM for myself.

In a while I'm going to go watch TV in the lounge and come up with some detailed ideas for my anthropology paper. This means that I am going to go watch TV in the lounge with my notebook sitting uselessly on my lap.

Lately I've been living off sushi and Happy Planets, which are the most expensive items in the caf. Unfortunately they don't go together well - but as the old saying goes...
"You gotta do stuff you don't like to spend the money that you have left on your mealcard so that it doesn't go to waste even though you are needlessly wasting it anyway."

That one's a classic.

(say what you will)

hark! [23 Mar 2004|10:21am]
[ mood | contemplative ]

I woke up to two squirrels having sex in the tree outside my window.

It's all downhill from here.

navigation
[ viewing | most recent entries ]
[ go | earlier ]