I wanted to have a celebratory meal at the caf, but nothing tasty was available. So I had a sandwich. However, the girl put so much damn mayonnaise on it that I couldn't stop thinking about semen as I ate it.
And I have $27.50 in my pocket! That seems like good news, but since it's what I got for selling my books back, it is the saddest $27.50 that has ever existed.